Now that we met
After a sweet honeymoon escape to Hawaii, we settled into our little one-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles. A few weeks later, we were ushered right into the first Covid lockdown! To be honest, we didn’t mind the extended honeymoon. 😉 Thankfully, Travis was able to keep his job during all of it. The lockdown time was full of home-cooked meals, movie nights, walks along the beach, and quality time in which we got to know each other even better.
In these first months, we started praying about how and where God wanted to use us as a team. Marriage is wonderful, but we strongly believe that, for us Christians, it should not only be about striving to live out our ‘happily ever after.’ Life for us as followers of Christ, whether married or unmarried, is about living sold out for Christ, following Him, and taking others on that journey with us! Our conversations over coffee, which were often prompted by something we read together in the Word of God, continuously led us to realize how much we wanted to share all that God had allowed us to experience with Him, both as singles and as a couple, with whoever was interested. That is when the idea of ‘seeking God in the wait’ began to grow.
Meanwhile, we’ve moved from California to Arizona and are loving the desert life! God has given Travis and me jobs at a Christian recreational center through which we can reach out to the community. We worked there together until I (Johanna) just recently had our first baby boy! Our hearts have been overwhelmed with love for this gift from God.
Now that we have been married for 2 years, it is so interesting to reflect on our time of singleness and dating through the lens of marriage. There are a few things that stand out to us:
WAITING. Waiting for that fitting partner to come along can be so hard. Sometimes, the loneliness can even be painful. We both experienced that. Now standing on the other side of marriage, we want to tell you: waiting is worth it. Do NOT settle. I’m not talking about the right eye color or level of fitness but rather those foundational aspects that make a marriage work well. We waited pretty long. I was 33, and Travis was 38 when we first met. Year after year, hope dwindled. So much so, that I honestly believed that it was impossible for me to ever get married. It would have to take a crazy miracle of God… but that is His expertise, right? So continue to exercise that muscle of faith and use this time of patiently (or sometimes not so patiently) waiting to ask Him how and where He wants to use you. These single years of your life are precious years that need to be invested well!
PURITY. It definitely pays off to fight for purity in your dating/engagement period. Even if you only have a week to go before you get married, you rob yourself of so much if you both don’t practice self-control. And I say BOTH, because it really does take both to stick to the boundary plan! Especially in the time before the wedding. The morning after our wedding, we talked about how interesting it is that everything we couldn’t do before the wedding was now fully allowed, and we had absolutely no feeling of guilt or shame! Remember to set the ‘purity’ bar high and keep thinking of the bigger picture to avoid getting overcome by the heat of the moment. Of course, your hormones are raging, and you deeply long to be fully and completely intimate with this person that you love. There is a time and place for that complete intimacy. It is in the safety of a covenant relationship.
SELFLESSNESS. We’re not wired to be selfless in our ‘human nature,’ but it sure does make a marriage much easier and sweeter if both practices are selfless. This is something that definitely can and should be practiced before marriage. The more prepared you become, the easier it will be. That means: get out of your comfort zone and avoid living only for yourself. Look around you! There are so many people in need—in need of love, fellowship, a place to stay, a listening ear, and a helping hand. We all have gifts and talents we can use to love the people around us. So get involved in a ministry, go on a missions trip, reach out to people who are lonely, live in the community. Intentionally pour into people’s lives, because we’re called to live a life of selfless love just like Jesus did. The more we do that, before and during the marriage, the more we live out our purpose here on earth.
THE MAIN POINT. As wonderful and meaningful as marriage can be, it is not the main point in life. It is only a possible chapter in the book of our lives. Nevertheless, our society, culture, and media love to glorify the idea of marriage. Don’t get me wrong—marriage definitely has great value and purpose in God’s kingdom. However, that purpose may be different than what we may expect before getting married. The main question is: are we living our lives worthy of the calling Jesus has given us? Whether we are single, dating, married, widowed, or divorced, we must see our lives in light of eternity (life after death). Life on earth is so short yet holds so much significance. The way we live these few years here determine where and how we will spend eternity after death. So let’s not get sidetracked by the lie that we need to be married in order to live ‘happily ever after.’ We need Jesus to live happily ever after. And once we make Him the Lord of our lives, we need to give Him room in our lives so that we can live worthy of the sacrifice He made for us.
So, let’s love God and the people around us the way only God can. And if you chose to get married, marry well so that you can fulfill that mission together!
